50-year-old Ex Bounty Hunter grappling with financial ruin and a serious drinking problem. I saw how we love, how we hate, how we cry, and damn it how we lie.
in spite of my current condition, is to use the power of storytelling to transform people and history.Follow my tag on Twitter
My Shadow is part of the core WHY of my story. My Shadow is disruptive. My Shadow likes conflict, drama and stirring shit up. My Shadow has seen a lot of shit waking this earth. My Shadow is about telling my truth, which is telling my authentic lived truth. My Shadow is not just about living life on life’s terms but embracing and even celebrating the fact we are all God’s Children. We are all fallen, flawed and fallible. We all have our demons. We all put our pants on one leg at a time. Most of us sit down to shit and we all have gangster proclivities. No one is better than anyone else for everybody has some shit going on and the ground is level at the foot of the cross. We are all trying to get home the best fucking way we know how.
I Cursed the Darkness for years complaining about shit I thought was wrong, unfair or unjust. I’m great at finding fault with other people and their shit. I’m damn good at focusing on and complaining about what others have done to me. But I call it Cursing the Darkness when I never stop to look at the man in the mirror. Me. I call it Cursing the Darkness when I put all my fucking energy into complaining about other people’s shit instead of seeking to discover the redemptive narrative power in my story and in the stories of others.
Hey, given my drinking issues, I’m probably not the best one to speak on Seeing Around Corners. If I could See Around Corners, I would have seen my drinking problem coming before it knocked me on my ass. Hello. Surfing the TV Channels one night, I stumbled across the famous singer Dionne Warwick hosting a psychic hotline channel. I recall reading months prior of her being in financial distress to the point of bankruptcy. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about filing for bankruptcy. Hell, in life shit happens. Been there and done that. I’m dealing with the financial repercussions of that shit to this day. But, in seeing her on that psychic channel, my mind went to the question “…if she is so psychic, why didn’t she see that damn bankruptcy coming?” Just saying. Today, I see a powerful work ahead in my life helping people tell the disruptively heroic stories of their authentic lived truth. Yea, I’m rolling with that. Put me down for Seeing Around those Corners if that’s the hell we’re up to.
Hell, Acceptance is believing I am the hero of my story. My lifelong struggle has been to find and belief in a purpose, my purpose. I know I can’t change my past but I’m finding the courage to make sense of it. I’m learning who the fuck I am and the meaning of shit that has been knocking me on my ass all my life. Yea, I’m making sense of and finding peace with my past. This is a beautiful thing. I want to make a difference in this world. I want the shit I’ve been thru not to be in vain. That is finding Acceptance. My Acceptance is embracing and even celebrating the fucking shit of my past and my humanity.
There is a saying In These Rooms we are as sick as our secrets. What have I made of myself? Who am I when nobody is watching? Do give I into my predilections to pornography, drinking, infidelity? Am I honest with not only others but myself? Feeling powerless is common to the human experience. What have I done because I felt powerless and wanted to be powerful? That’s my shit. The late legendary attorney Johnnie Cochran once said ‘we are doomed to repeat that which we don’t complete.
I recently had this exchange with a friend of mine experiencing some extreme financial distress. He's had the weight of this financial challenge hanging over his head for I don't know how damn long.
...If you’re not ready to give up, thru is going to be the way out. Numbers are data points and don’t dictate the story or control the narrative until you let them. I have never and will never let numbers control me nor my agenda. If you’re not ready to throw in the towel and give up on hope, I’ll see you at 10:30AM Monday morning.
For the last several months I’ve been fighting an uphill battle and I can’t win it. I’ve attempted Hail Mary passes, and I’ve been forced to beg and borrow. It’s breaking my heart to say it, but I can no longer see what is worth saving or a path to save it. I’ve been going through this week like a zombie, unable to work or concentrate, weeping in parking lots, stressed out of my mind. It’s been the most difficult decision of my life...I don’t know what you see that is worth trying to save anymore, and I can’t imagine a path toward saving it that isn’t filled with additional humiliations and failures. And I don’t know how many more of those my soul can bear...
Been there Man. Been at the place where I didn't think I could take any more, where I wanted to give up and throw in the towel on life. I been in that place where even minor decisions like what to wear or which driving direction to take not only caused major consternation but also physically hurt and caused pain thru out my whole body. How about you, my readers? Have you ever been here?
Some say "...Life is a bitch and then you die..." The jury is still deliberating on how all this shit is gonna pan out. But, here's what keeps me going in spite of the hardship of struggles, in spite of haves and don't haves, in spite of who is with me or who the hell is against me, in spite of not always feeling like I can make it or always believing I will make it. The fact that I'm still standing in spite of the shit that has gone against me and comes my way, this keeps me going. The freedom I have experienced in speaking and sharing my lived truth no matter who doesn't like it and no matter how awful others my think that truth is keeps me going when it seems like the whole damn world is standing against me.
This is my bottom line, "...Life is not about avoiding the storms. It’s about learning to dance in the rain...” Thanks for sharing my friend. Keep your head up. You have nothing to be ashamed of; stay in the game. You're a good man and this world needs the gifts of your soul and spirit. Your fighting energy in spite of your trials will live on!!
In response to my last post about Ted from Atlanta and the challenge from his sister about Being A Man, I received this story from Francis from Charleston.
Francis writes "... I realized I was finally a Man when I found the courage to tell my Old Man, Father, he was neither My God nor My Judge and I was no longer living my life according to his dictates. This all came about, writes Francis, after I was arrested on an Armed Robbery Charge.
I was 22yds old at that time, some 10 years back now. The Crew I was running with at the time knocked over a Jewelry Story In North Charleston. We thought we'd made a clean break but a security camera several blocks away from the joint caught one of the our crew removing his mask. One thing led to another, and this asshole ended up rattling the rest of us out.
That call with my Father was to explain the bail money my sister had to borrow from him to get me sprung instead of my rotting in jail until the trial. My Old Man started unloading on me and such about how I was this big disappointment to the entire family when I snapped. I couldn't take that shit any longer. I needed to stand up to him; I had to be heard at that moment right or wrong. This is my life to live as I damn well pleased I felt at that moment; I was going out my own way and on my own terms. I was done being made to feel like a boy, a child. It's my life and I'm calling the shots..."
Thanks for sharing Francis. No pun intended, but shot is what you're lucky you ass didn't get. I get where you were coming from. I too reached a point in life where I had to push back against my Old Man. I get that feeling. But here's the deal; I'm calling bull-shit on your timing.
Be a Man in this instance meant coming up with your on damn bail money. You don't get to play the Man Card riding on someone else's dime. If you’re gonna play that card, come righteous or don't come at all. Let's Keep it real. (That’s little advice was at no extra charge)!
What has happened in the ensuing 10 years Francis? You're right, this is your Story and your life. What have you done with your life since that time? What chapters have you added to this story? I want to know what steps you have taken to become the hero of this story?
You were very clear this is your life to live and your story to tell. I got that loud and clear. My question to you is have you yet decided how your being the hero of the rest of your story should read? If you haven't written it, write it and then live into it as though the rest of your very life depends on just that.
Thanks for sharing Man Stay strong and in Touch. And stay the hell the way from them damn jewelry stores!!!
I received the following story from an individual I will refer to as Ted from Atlanta. Ted writes he was blindsided to receive this message from his sister. Ted obviously has some family issues but wrote that receiving this message caught him off guard:
"...Help me with this ok. You pull your famous "disappearing act" for over 35 plus yrs. Call maybe, never ask or talked to your nieces, act out, every time I see you, call me the demons seed, through shit in my face from 60 yrs ago, like you NEVER did anything wrong to daddy or mommy oh and George. Lie like a pro Yet send me this pic like we so cool. Should I go on. OPEN YOUR EYES BOY. I'm so sick of this and you. No more coddling or walking on egg shells. Be a damn man, brother, uncle, great and great- great uncle before the lord calls me home. Getting back to family is the easy part..."
Damn Ted. That's some strong stuff there my friend. That's keeping it 1000 Man. That's some deep shit. That one landed right at my front door.
But here is the deal; this is a grand opportunity for you to take control of this story and a large part of your life. Time for redirection of someone else's BS attempt to miss direct you. Feelings of hurt, shame or anger in this moment are all too real. Acknowledge those feelings and that fact Ted. Now, get the fuck over it. That's not your shit unless you make it yours. Don't let this damn sucker punch take you out Bro. This shit is all garbage that needs to be recycled.
This is your Story and your life Ted; you get to add the next chapter to this story. How in the hell do you want that next chapter to read? How do you become the damn hero of this story? That's THE question you need to wrestle with.
Man up time Ted. Decide how your being the hero of the next chapter of this story should read. Write it and then live into that shit every chapter of your life thereafter. Don't just lean into it. You can't be a little bit pregnant so they say (LOL). You got tom live into that shit as though the rest of your very damn life depends on it. In many ways, it does Ted. In many ways, it does!!
All I got for now Ted. Thanks for sharing. Stay strong and live into that shit Bro!!
I looked thru the wreckage of my past and here is what I saw—brokenness. I was certainly no angel. I saw how hate, money and the search for love drove me over the years. Damn, damn, damn.
Life is twisted, complicated and compromised and then we die. Right. I guess this is what make us truly human. Or is it?
Let’s flip the script and see what I get. I’m not gone yet. To be continued….
I hope no offense is taken. No offense meant. But, give me the "...Nobody in his right mind would make that shit up..." stories and not those luke warm and stale woe is me stories from yesterday. As a former bounty hunter, I've seen and heard it all before. I have listened to the lies of murders, thieves, sexual pedophiles and more. You name the lie and I’ve heard the lying perp who told that story. Enough already. Stop with the BS!
The coming Hunter Show will not feature lies or warmed-over tales of woe. Give me the most interesting stories of overcoming and survival against all odds ever told. I want to hear from some real perps with some of the most harrowing but real experiences ever recorded. I want stories that makes your hair stand up on the back of your neck because it could not have turned out any worse. That’s right, the "...Nobody in his right mind would make that shit up..." stories.
If you’re out there with that next great story lying dormant on the front lines of Wrecked America, I want you. I want that damn story today. The Hunter Show wants your story. Wrecked America wants you. The mind and hearts of the masses want and need to hear your story.
Be BAD. Tell us that Story. Be real BAD. Be Heroic. We’re waiting. What’s your Story?
Wrecked America is the Love and PHunk of your Story. Wrecked America is not about what you're imitating but about what you're creating. Wrecked America is about addressing “…the wounds that seemingly heal, that also carry the poison that with time, will sooner or later hunt us down and push us over the cliff…” - The Hunter
“…Wrecked America is stories from the marginalized corners of America…”
We all have room to grow towards what we are seeking to become. Some refer to this as us having work to do. Some refer to it as a journey to undertake. The name or label notwithstanding, Storytelling is about our Heroic Journey to Become.
Would you like to experience the joy of having your life transformed into Powerful and Creative Story?
Take a Journey of learning to love ourselves. There will be several stops on this Journey. I will list several steps here and explore them in more detail another time:
1. Willingness to Tell the Truth about Lying
2. Willingness to Face down our Fears
3. Willingness to Identify Pain of Our Past
This is a vehicle for giving our story content and a platform to battle our struggles over being imitative copies or mere echoes of ourselves. This is the Story of Unabashed and Unapologetic Unarmed Truth!! Until next time, may you be well with your Storytelling!!
“…Storytelling that Empowers and becomes Transformation is the Story told foremost for the benefit the Storyteller…" - The Hunter
“…I believe in our unparalleled power and privilege to move the world with the heroic stories we live and tell…” - The Hunter
What is a Journey in the Wrecked America? A Journey is an adventure to the deepest meaning of what It means to be human:
Journeying is refusing to play the victim on this adventurous quest despite powers, people, circumstances or situations. For to do so, is to rob my Journey of Life of its Magical Power and deny a one the force to become the Hero of their Story, give them the Starring Role in their Story, their Voice- - the greatness of the Story of their Life!!
“…Heir to the heavens beneath the skies. Yet, he falls, he falls to rise. Stumbling, stumbling beaten back, holding still to the upward track. Playing his part in creations plan, God like in Wisdom, this is Man…” - Unknown
We all have areas of ugliness in our lives past and present and will probably experience such instances in the future. We have stories we could tell about things we have done and things that have been done to us, which we find it difficult to even remember let alone put into speech. Some of these experiences we have vowed to take to our graves and share with no one…ever.
I never once filled out a job application and listed among my skills that I was the best drug dealer in my high school class, but I was. I let the shame of one criminal offense cause me to believe I would be unemployable, and thus spiraled me downward into deeper criminal activity. I believed the horrible stories I told me about me. These were my faults, deserved or not, and I was chained to them, a prisoner of my own consciousness.
Today, I count every one of these experiences as part of what makes me unique. First, they don’t define who I am but the strength I have gained to date from them does. Second, I have recast the story of these experiences from seeing myself as a victim to being the hero of my stories and experiences no matter how painful nor traumatic. Wrecked America is where you too become the Hero and not the Victim of your Story. This is Wrecked America. Be BAD!
I have a sensitive bullshit meter. I seek stories of people giving life to their suffering, pain, scars and wounds. Do you have a powerful story to tell from the wreckage, struggle or tragedy of your past? Do you believe you have a story with power to transform Wrecked America?
I can show you how to move self and move Wrecked America but I believe in keeping it 100% real. I hope you’re feeling me. Playing the victim is the bullshit of modern-day slavery. Wrecked America is home for fallible but entertaining BadAsses. All others need not apply. Are you ready be a part of this righteous truth? If you have what it takes, write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org I’m waiting!
This was a dark place in my life. I had lost everything: wife, family, home, son and career–all gone. I was hurting on the inside and mad as hell on the outside. But I was determined not to give up; I was going to make it ‘by any means necessary.’ That’s when the proposition of becoming a Bounty Hunter opened to me. How cool. I get to carry a gun, earn some money, and rid society of scum while lawfully acting out my anger and frustrations on others. Yea, I thought. I can get into this.
Here’s what makes bounty hunting relevant to transformational storytelling. I got to see the best of people and the worst of people in this world. I got to see the flaws and faults of the subject of the search. I also got to see the flaws and faults of the Cast of Characters who are a part of their lives. I got to see up close and personal some of the darkest aspects of people and what we are capable of in some of our darkest moments. I saw how we love, how we hate, how we cry and how we lie. I saw what we’ll do out of spite, revenge, greed, fear and, for God’s sake, the love of MONEY. I got to see how people and their lives get twisted, complicated and compromised.
I will search the stories submitted on the Wrecked America podcast searching for those “diamond in the rough” stories that perfectly illustrate people finding their inner Bad Ass Superheroes. Next, I will travel documentary-style to validate these stories by having the actual people tell their story in their own words accompanied by a visual reenactment.